Annie Rhiannon

Monday, May 09, 2011

Rolling Around in the Hay

There's a sign at the supermarket checkout making me feel anxious. "Bring your own bag," it says. "And win a tree".

I do not want to win a tree. Where would I put it? Almost everything I own is in a storage locker in Ireland and here I am still rolling around in the hay with the west coast of America. A tree is the last thing I need.

On the train back through California from Oakland, I'd sat and stared out of the window at the mountains and the pines and felt something happen in my chest. It was a familiar feeling: elation and nerves and unrest. Oh God, not again, not yet... I can't let myself fall in love with America. It's okay to have this stupid crush, yes, but I don't have a work visa and I'm not in the mood for unrequited love just yet.

But my flight back to Ireland left yesterday, and I lay in Fiona and David's garden and watched the aeroplane fly over my head.

"I think I'll stay a little while longer," I called out to them through the open kitchen window. "If that's okay with you guys...".

Luckily, they said yes.

13 comments:

  1. I love your writing. Always looking forward to what comes next.

    xx

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  2. thank you Magdelena <3

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  3. I love your little stories Annie. Very 'real'.
    I went to America in 1994 on a two week holiday to visit my Aunt and only came home (to Galway) in 2008.

    Never stop yourself from falling in love.
    Let it happen.

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  4. As someone who was hoping you wouldn't let a little heartbreak put you off Ireland for good, I'm sad to read this.
    Then again, I went to Dublin first for a weekend in 1989 and appear to still be here, so I guess I can empathise.

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  5. I guess the thing to do is bring your own bag. If you win the tree, it means America loves you too and doesn't want you to leave. Perhaps, true to your headlong self, you could bring two bags?

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  6. Anonymous9.5.11

    What type of tree?
    EW

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  7. Lovely piece.

    Glad you're happy, no matter where you are.

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  8. Thank you :)

    It doesn't say what type of tree. Just "win a tree" in colourful markers.

    I'm not put off Ireland for good. I do love Ireland, I love Dublin, I love my friends there. But Portland is good to me at the moment: I like the weather and the music and the people and I'm getting a little work here now so I want to stay.

    Also, there is nothing better in the whole world right now than living with a happy baby and getting a cuddle every single day.

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  9. I was on a train headed through the Highlands on the way to I didn't really care where. I had a similar feeling in my chest that you describe. As the train pulled into Wick...

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  10. oh, and regarding solo travel, one doesn't have to be concerned with another's good time. Liberating.

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  11. I have been reading your blog for a while and I found it via Chris Cope. I live in Portland too. It's a funny to think that we're in the same city since not too long ago you were kind of a phantom internet person far, far away. Welcome to PDX!

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  12. Fiona13.5.11

    Yes yes yes!

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  13. you could just carry your tree around in your bag; you don't have to have a plot of land or a visa to take root somewhere ...

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