Day One: I am terrified
I am terrified: tomorrow I will have to drive 20 kilometres all by myself in a small blue car that I feel I have no control over whatsoever. It doesn't feel like a small blue car, it feels like some kind of... some kind of killing machine! I realise the chances of me murdering somebody have just multiplied considerably. There was no way I could have killed a small child yesterday. This week, I probably will.
Day Two: Yes, still terrified
It occurs to me that I've never been alone in a moving car in my whole life before now, and I suddenly feel a terrible mix of claustrophobia and agoraphobia. At a junction on the N11 I look at the man in the car stopped next to me. Should we acknowledge each other? I wave at him, nervously. He pretends not to see me. The lights change and I stall the engine trying to move off. Twice. I panic as two cars behind me beep their horns.
Day Three: I think I'm getting the hang of this
Oh my god, I think I'm getting the hang of this! It's still terrifying, of course, but it's my third day on the road and I'm alive — and so is everyone else. Could it be that my dream of one day driving Route 66 with a dog called Sorry will come true? I stop at the lights and admire my reflection. Yeah, I'll wear my aviator shades and a dark tan leather jacket, right through the State of Oklahoma. Oh Annie, I say to myself, shaking my head in admiration. You are just so fucking cool. Back on the N11 the lights change and I stall the engine trying to move off. Twice. I panic as three cars behind me beep their horns.
Day Four
Okay, definitely getting the hang of this now.
Day Five: I get clamped
Clamped! Outside my own house! Well, I don't know anything about "parking meters". Everybody knows that when you're the passenger you can leave all that stuff to the driver, letting them feed coins into a machine even though they were only driving you around in the first place because you needed help moving house. And now I'm the driver. This "car ownership" thing is a whole new world.
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ha! I can't believe you waved to the man in the car beside you on the N11
ReplyDeleteI felt "exposed"
ReplyDeleteOn the very day my sister got her full licence - on the way home from the test centre in fact - she scraped her car along the full length of a double-decker bus. So hard actually that the words Bus Atha Cliath, in bright orange, was superimposed onto the passenger side of her car!
ReplyDeleteSo don't worry about it! Congrats on passing the test, enjoy the freedom!
Thank you. Yes, I must keep thinking of it in terms of freedom and not in terms of parking meters and insurance.
ReplyDeleteAfter a while you'll lose the feeling that parking = abandoning the car, unless you're in an Irish country town where haphazard automobile abandonment is the done thing.
ReplyDeleteI like locking it with my laser-beam key while I'm walking away. Feels really cool.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, when Rosie told me you'd passed I felt a genuine twinge of pride. I think I had it in my head that you'd be cycling around for ever more.
ReplyDeleteAnd cycling is crap. I'm thinking of writing a post about how crap it is, only I'm afraid of getting my head bitten off.
Go Little Blue! Am so proud of you for passing your test - is the hardest test in the world, you know. Notoriously so. Am pleased to report that I drove Route 66 with a dog named Lola. She wasn't one bit Sorry. Otherwise, yippee for you, and the lovely new blog design.
ReplyDeleteCycling is NOT crap. It is a very green, convenient, healthy way to get about. That's why I did it. Had nothing to do with being terrified of cars. Oh, hang on...
ReplyDeleteFiona, I am LOVING this little car. Thank you so much. And I am dead jealous of your Route 66 adventure.
Well done Annie! The clamping struck a chord - my first day ever driving into town for work, I kept assiduously feeding the (old-fashioned lollipop-style) parking meter, only to come out at 6 and find a ticket on the windscreen (yes, pre-clamping era too). Turns out I'd been paying for all the cars who had parked to the right of mine, all day long.
ReplyDeleteThe next day, I hit a passing car while I was parking. I don't even want to talk about that day.
annie, just avoid multi-storey car parks, they are tricky. get the hang of everything else first, even when to wave on the n11...tor x
ReplyDeleteYeah - definitely avoid multi-storey car parks. They'll only make you cry after you collide with a low ceiling.
ReplyDeleteI know someone (I must not say who) who scraped all the way along a tester's parked car as she arrived at the test centre. Of course, it was the only other car there. Loads of empty spaces.
By rights she should have suffered some karmic punishment.
But she quickly moved. No-one noticed. She passed the test. And is now OUT THERE. Shudder.
Top tip: When you curse at some other driver, as you surely will, before realising you had the window open, or maybe they just saw you do it - and they're getting out of their car and coming towards you - simply pretend to have been singing along to the radio.
There you go. You'll be fine now.
I've already been in a multi-storey! But only with my co-pilot (Conor).
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice. I haven't hit anything yet. Do people's bumpers count? Oh.
Congrats on passing you test.
ReplyDeleteSpotted your Blog in the Belfast tele.
So true! First time alone in a car - EVER! Scary stuff.
ReplyDeleteWell done Anniekins. So, so, so MEGA chuffed for you. - Please blog again the first time you have to pay to fill the tank up - HOW much these days!!! ;)
Try learning to drive in a 4x4!
ReplyDeleteIts like the world is being consumed under your tires! :S
On my first foray into the scary world of non-dual control driving after passing my test last Winter I had to pick my boyfriend up from the train station. And I realised when I got into the car that I had no idea how to work the lights on his car. So I drove there in the dark but I drove really really slowly to make up for not being able to see anything.
ReplyDeleteSome muppet in a white van drove into the back of me about 3 months ago and I just want to cry every time I drive now - I'm dreaming of the day I'll be able to drive somewhere without having to peel my hands from the steering wheel when I arrive.