At the last minute I decided to go along to the blog awards, although I warned Conor not to get his hopes up about me winning anything. "I'm the Jennifer Aniston of Irish blogging," I explained to him in the car. "I'm only of any real value when I'm hurting."
Trying to get a hotel in Galway was like the friggin nativity, but eventually we found a bed in the Radisson. "Look!" said a young boy to his mother in the lobby. "There's Annie Rhiannon!". I wanted to pick him up and hug him.
"We're going to be late," said Conor in the room, as I carefully applied my make-up as some kind of insult to women. "Don't worry," I said. "Nothing's going to start until we get there."
By the time we got there, everything had already started. I didn't recognise anyone I knew, and I was annoyed when Conor was tapped on the shoulder by an old friend of his — who happened to be a very glamourous and beautiful young blonde woman. I was secretly pleased, however, when I learnt that her parents had cruelly named her "Panti".
"Best sports blog, yada yada, best food blog, yada yada..." Rick O'Shea was saying on the stage. I'm definitely not going to win anything, I thought to myself, politely clapping the other bloggers. But I better write a quick little acceptance speech in my head now, just in case... When the shortlist for Best Personal was called out I noticed a mysterious couple in the fifth row giving my name a particularly loud clap. Thank you, mysterious couple in the fifth row. "And the winner is..." I braced myself. That guy who writes about babies! "Well deserved, well deserved," I whispered to Conor graciously, and he clapped too and agreed with me.
After the ceremony, I met Fat Mammy Cat (who I felt had perhaps chosen the wrong pseudonym); I introduced Gimme to somebody from Culch.ie by mistake; and I congratulated the lovely Rabbit for managing to beat Twenty Major in the humour category. "Why does everyone keep saying that to me?" she said, looking mildly confused. Ah, I thought, sagely. You are but a young padawan.
The overall prize for Best Blog went to Beaut.ie. Unfortunately, this would later go on to cause Ireland's final decline, but I was delighted they had won regardless. I love those Beaut ladies: I will never forget the afternoon they took me out and gave me a compact of Yves Saint Laurent green eyeshadow in an attempt to save my life, yes — back when I was "hurting".
Well done everybody involved, it was a great night.
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Trotter here Annie. Now then. Hmm, bad luck and poor show my dear - I'm off to ceredigion this weekend. Anyhows, you need to give an award or mark out of 10 to both of your comment leavers - I think it'll drum up interest in the blog and ensure you a victorious result at next year's blog awards .... naturally I will not accept any less than 10 out of 10
ReplyDeleteI'll fess up now as the "mysterious couple in the fifth row". Love your blog, and will continue to read, regardless of awards. My disappointment of the night was too not get to say hello to you!
ReplyDelete"I carefully applied my make-up as some kind of insult to women. "
ReplyDeleteHaha Annie - no one can write like you do!
That was a great day with the green eyeshadow - we have to do it again - soon!
palette of blue eyeshadow is in the post.
ReplyDeleteAhhh! Thank you Beaut ladies once again. You have caused me great happiness amidst Ireland's final decline.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mysterious Ciara, for the clappage.
Trotter: 7 and a half. Way below par. But have fun in Ceredigion anyway.
Well I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you. If I'd known the event was to have your kind of class, I'd have crept away from my daughter's birthday party and done some foot-stomping in the fifth row.
ReplyDeleteAlso agree that FMC badly named. Think she should be rebranded as Slinky Pussy Cat so people can stop getting such a shock when they meet her
ReplyDeleteMise, I gave a specially loud clap for you, and I'm not just saying that because you're in my comments box. I also gave one for Gimme too, though he doesn't believe me.
ReplyDeleteI noticed your image was used to illustrate the terrible decline. Has anyone started the non-insulting ugl.ie yet? You know, to be in with a chance of winning next year?
ReplyDelete"I carefully applied my make-up as some kind of insult to women!" HAHAHA! You are brill!
ReplyDeleteConan - I have already started working on outragedconstantl.ie and taitgaller.ie so hopefully one of those will be a contender.
ReplyDeleteYou seemed to be there, and then not there. But then that could've been just me and rather slow speed at which I turn my head. I had wanted to compare beards with your man, and other social niceties.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you, albeit in your less prolific blogging happiness.
Cheers Annie, I'd have no complaints had you trotted off with the 'gong', as the kids these days call it.
ReplyDeleteDid Gimme go medieval on their asses?
ReplyDeleteYou with your makeup, insulting the women.
ReplyDeleteI'll be giggling about that one all day.
Conan: Yes, I noticed that image to. I cannot tell a lie: I was thrilled.
ReplyDeleteFiona: No, YOU are brill!
Eolai: Yeah, I disappeared at midnight, sorry, was about to turn into a pumpkin. It was lovely to see too, and congrats again on your award, well done.
Xbox: I would have called you by your name but I was confused because back in the day there was another "Xbox" in the blogosphere, though I think it was someone's ex-boss / ex-bf.
Radge: No, it was just slightly awkward as they sized each other up. I immediately realised my mistake and wandered off to find the "finger food."
No problem, ridiculous name to land myself with anyway.
ReplyDelete-Martin.
They were just allowed to win to make them feel better for not being you. Obviously really.arruc
ReplyDeleteGreat rundown of the night, nicely done Annie. I might even go next year!
ReplyDelete1) You should have won.
ReplyDelete2) PLEASE blog soon?? + More often. Like before.
Dear Annie, I'm hoping to fly out of the country in June and return a few days later. Can you consult with your Ashlandic oracles and let me know if the signs are propitious?
ReplyDeleteif only there had been a category for a gay vegetarian irish expat travelling blog I'm sure I would have had a nomination!
ReplyDeleteI think Facebook has made me terribly lazy with my commenting. I have been looking for the "like" button on your post. (Do you think we can petition for one?)
ReplyDeleteOh - and you are clearly the winner of Blog World with me.
:)t
I don't know Annie, you make me confused. On the one hand, you're around 30, and on the other hand, you are still hot. I'll time to figure this out...
ReplyDelete