Annie Rhiannon

Monday, January 25, 2010

In a bid to appear cooler than I actually am

In a bid to appear cooler than I actually am, I'm taking hip-hop dance classes. Six weeks from now you'll be looking at me filled with that heady mix of fear and admiration, reserved only for those who can 'glide' and 'pop' their way out of any given situation.

"Will you come with me?" I beg my American friend, Jenna. She is the least hip-hop person I know — yes, even less hip-hop than me — but she has the right accent and I need her for my posse. After minimal grumbling ("You do realise I'm from Oregon?") she gives in and agrees to come with me.

The class is small; just us and four cooler, younger people. There's the obligatory hip-hop chicks: pixie-like and foreign, boys' cargo pants, tank-tops, and some vaguely interesting piercings. In the corner, a guy warms up a little by spinning on his head.

"I'm not sure I can do this," whispers Jenna, as we line up in front of the mirror. "You realise we've never danced in front of each other before?"

"I swear I won't look at you," I lie. Of course I will look at her, it's going to be like the first time I went to the pool with my friend Ursula and I just couldn't take my eyes off her boobs in the showers.

But it turns out I can't look at Jenna dancing after all, because I have to spend the whole hour concentrating very, very hard on not falling over. And I don't think we've even got to the 'gliding' or 'popping' bits yet; this first class just seems to be about 'stepping in time to the music'. In a bid to appear cooler than I actually am — and blacker — I have only confirmed that I was born to be clumsy and ginger.

17 comments:

  1. There's a difference between break dance and hip hop. The latter is the easiest access dance genre possible. There's the pimp roll, chest clasp, bobbing to phat beats and the occasional gangland sign to flick. Save your money.

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  2. Perhaps you should start with a bit of rinca and work your way up.

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  3. You're cooler than me - I'd be humming Madonna's "Get into the groove" to myself. Chris is right - I can see you as a Rince girl, hands straight by your side, all ringlets and repressed irony. Could you debut Gangland Rince?

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  4. I know not what this rinca/rince thing is

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  5. Rince pronounced rinca is Irish dancing. You go, a chailín.

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  6. oh, THAT.

    those days are gone

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  7. yo YO....keep it up...maybe after ten weeks you'll come out all mofo by osmosis.

    but ugh re: young super cool girls...they are quite terrifying, I find.

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  8. I did Flamenco. Was deeply shamed.

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  9. Ohnonono, say it ain't so.

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  10. Hengest26.1.10

    I'd like to hear more about Ursula. She sounds, umm... interesting. Uh, yeah, interesting... that was the word I was looking for...

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  11. Woman, Mise is right, this gangsta-rince thing could be like a whole new craze, I think you should get it down.

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  12. New poll over at mine. I'd appreciate your input.

    http://marlowefish.blogspot.com/2010/01/once-more-unto-breach-dear-friends.html

    (how do you make links in the comments? I totally forget.)

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  13. Hello stranger. Yeah, I feel a bit out-of-practice with linky commenty stuff too. Think you can just add regular tags type your text here etc

    We'll call it "Rinksta" and people will come from across the land.

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  14. Heh, Rinksta.

    Whatever about clumsy, you're very brave!

    Best header pic ever, btw.

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  15. What.The.Fuck? Over.

    Rinksta?

    Try Crunke.

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  16. Good to see ya back, Annie.

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  17. I kinda want to join the class....I, too, am not 'street' nor 'bitchin'' so I could be part of you posse!!! :P

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