London baby

On our first night in London, Wies, Cathy and I got thrown out of a comedy club for not laughing enough. The comedian, Ray Jerome, was so bad that the entire audience just sat there in embarrassed silence until he lost his train of thought and shouted at us all to "fuck off then, the lot of you, get out, none of you are smart enough to understand my sense of humour, that's all it is." Which was the funniest part of the evening, in fairness.

On our second night in London, Wies, Cathy and I got thrown out of our hotel for being too rock'n'roll for London. And by "too rock'n'roll for London" I mean we had tried to get all three of us into a single-occupancy room and failed. Getting thrown out of a King's Cross hotel at one in the morning was both embarrassing and inconvenient. Which is one of the worst combinations, in fairness.

I also visited the one and only Annie Slaminsky in Hackney, who I've been bloggy-friends with for some years now but this was the first time we'd met in real life: cue blonktastic gossip-fest (yes, we were talking about you!). We met at a busy train station where I wasn't sure exactly who I was looking for, but I just kept an eye out for the best bum in London until I found her. Later on, on the night bus back to her place, a bloke said to her: "Cor, you 'ave got to 'ave the best bum in London, darlin," and it's true: she has.

And last but not least, I got to spend some time with one of my oldest friends Christian Oshi, who I grew up with in rural north Wales. He ran away to London many years ago to make his fortune and fulfill his "lifelong ambition of getting braces" — even though he already has perfectly straight teeth. I'm happy to report that he has finally found a dentist willing to help him with this entirely baffling fashion statement, as when we met up he was recovering from having had four teeth removed in preparation. And so this post is dedicated to him and all his suffering, after he expressed understandable contempt that I had "skipped straight from Belgium to York as if London didn't even exist." Eep!