After leaving the doctor's last week, swinging down the street to the rhythm of Stayin' Alive and trying not to click my fingers in public, I decided there is only one thing for it: I have to go to America. This job I'm doing will be over in a month — BANG! — and then what am I going to do? Stay in Ireland? Go back to Iceland? Ring up my parents and see if they'll have me home in Wales? No. I'm going to have to pull on my cowboy boots and head on over to the American West for a couple of months. Uh, wherever that is.
"Have you ever done the whole American West thing?" I ask my American friend Joel, over-excitedly over cocktails on Saturday night.
"What's the whole American West thing?" he frowns, perplexed.
"Oh, y'know, wearing cowboy boots, wandering around... wandering around the... the West..." I trail off. I'm not entirely sure what it is either. But I'm hoping it involves freedom.
"Well," says Joel. "Let me ask you something. When you came to Dublin did you wear a white tracksuit?"
Eh? I guess not.
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Dude, I so used to wear cowboy boots. And I lived in the American West. And I drove a pickup truck. It's that last element that I think you're going to struggle with.
ReplyDeleteYeah... I haven't quite got around to admitting that bit on my blog yet.
ReplyDeleteHmm, you will look good in the outfit.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Even Cowgirls Get the Blues?
Aw, thanks. And no... but I have listened to Emmylou Harris sing about it over and over again:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOcNPGOrJIw
Freedoms just another word for nothin left to lose...
ReplyDelete... the West is huge, you can drive all day and all night in a straight line in Texas or Montana and still not get all the way through. Wyoming has fewer people per square mile than
ReplyDeleteIceland... Colorado Springs is a good jumping off point...
There's that word again, "drive"...
ReplyDeleteUmn. Well maybe you could get a handsome cowboy to drive you around? How persuasive are you?
ReplyDeleteAre white track suits the thing to wear in Dublin? *takes notes*
ReplyDeleteIf you really want to "do" the American west, learn to drive a motorcycle.
When u get around to doing the 'East coast thing' and if you end up doing the "DC thing" please let me feed you in DC.
ReplyDelete"If you really want to 'do' the American west, learn to drive a motorcycle."
ReplyDeleteAfter a week of head-scratching and panicking, and looking up intensive driving courses, that is the best idea I have ever heard.
DC: I'm now expanding my trip to cover the whole of America. Yes, the WHOLE of it. And I would love nothing more than to be fed by an anonymous person on the internet, so thank you. Will be with you in November.
OK Annie - ur on! If u come to DC I will happily pick you up and take you each day to an 'all you can eat" diner - I will treat you to CCs through American Steak House! There are loads and loads of them around DC/Northern VA.
ReplyDeleteYou looking for some traveling companions?
ReplyDeleteI'll email you
ReplyDeleteI remember a German guy once telling me about an American West, describing it as 'white' and 'dirty'. I should have taken his nationality into account, his W's were actually V's and he was referring to wife-beaters. Why he thought they were particularly American I don't know.
ReplyDeletetake me with you!
ReplyDelete(and yes, Chaucer's Bitch, they are very much de fashion here).
Does Vegas count as part of the American West? Vegas rocks, you sit down in front of these flashy things in a big room and people bring you free beer. FREE beer I tell ya!
ReplyDelete... you've got a free meal in Minneapolis...
ReplyDeleteTake a note from Batty. The American West is not really on the west coast. You'll find more of what is traditionally thought of in Montana, Wyoming and that area. It's made up of a whole lot of space and very few people.
ReplyDeleteThanks Batty, you're a star <3
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a whole lot of space and very few people. That was the good thing about Iceland, too.
Although I also like New York, so I don't really know what I think.
How about New Orleans? After Gustav comes & goes, that is. There is a singer here who goes by Gal Holiday and I think she's perfect for your vision of...um, what's your vision of? Anyway. This is The Deep South not The American West but you'd like it here.
ReplyDeleteI match your free meal for Annie in Minneapolis and go higher with a free meal for Annie per day Annie is in the DC/Northern VA area.
ReplyDeletePS I don't just mean "Annie" but "gorgeous Annie".
ReplyDeleteWest coast or Wild West?
ReplyDeleteRoute 1 that hugs the west coast is spectacular especially the Big Sur1
going wild wild west ey?
ReplyDeleteBring back some cowboys back:)
I love the way you write, you make me smile.
ReplyDelete"Well maybe you could get a handsome cowboy to drive you around"
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking Brad Pitt inThelma and Louise....mmmm.
EW
Free food for Annie in Arlington/DC area, I'm willing to drive gorgeous Annie around the sites in DC, but I'm not a handsome cowboy, more like your humble Welsh Correspondent with a small law office in Alexandria, near DC.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna take a train, like a real cowboy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the exciting offers of food. Have funny feeling you are all the same person though?
Would really like to see New Orleans. Am thinking of maybe heading down there after Michigan if I have any money left. We'll see how it goes.
I think a visit (stay?) in the American West is a great idea! Cowboy boots/hats/obnoxious belt buckles work better in some regions than in others. For example, in my little part of the West, it's all about copious amounts of wine ... and capris with sweaters tossed casually over the shoulders (if you're 50+, that is). But anyway, something about The West screams 'road trip'--and 'road trip' = freedom = tons of stories and photo ops. Do it.
ReplyDeleteI haven´t been reading your bonk very long, but I think you are ready to skip over American West and go straight to American Ghetto Fabulous!
ReplyDeleteHi,Hi,hi..What's all this about a train?
ReplyDeleteI've a car.Not to keen on risking it in Michigan but I'll do it for you.
Thumbs way up for N'awlins.If Gustav leaves it alone that is.
Annie, I'm the guy living in Arlington, VA whose promising you (if you happen to visit DC) a meal per day during your visit. The other guy/lady who hails from MN is a different person from me. I'm just one of many tens, if not hundreds, of male fans in your pocket. Good to see you are so positive again, with your humour back again in shovels.
ReplyDelete