Annie Rhiannon

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Throw your hands up at me

Things are going from bad to worse: I now have a Destiny's Child ringtone on my phone. I've never had a phone that uses actual songs as ringtones before, but this phone is a phone, a camera, a walkman, and even a clock, too. Suddenly I feel disproportionately optimistic about the future.

"I need to put a Destiny's Child ringtone on my phone!" I wail at Maurice, one of my incredibly helpful intern assistants at work. "And I need to do it right away, so I can feel better about myself immediately!"

"That's easy enough," he says, helpfully. "Which track do you want?"

"Independent Woman, of course," I say, glad that there's a guy around to sort this shit out for me. "And it has to be the bridge bit, when she sings about driving her own car and buying her own diamonds, and how if she wanted the watch you're wearing, well, she'd just go right ahead and buy that as well. Even though nobody wears watches anymore because we all have phones that are clocks, too. Yes, that bit."

Maurice sits down at my MacBook so he can edit the track for me. He's used to using a PC, and so I try to convert him over to our side, where everything is much more beautiful. But he's dubious; Macs are stupidly overpriced, aren't they? How much did mine cost me?

"Er... actually, I don't know." I say, sheepishly. "I didn't buy it."

I know, I know. I have a cheek using the 'Child as my signature ringtone.

20 comments:

  1. I hated independent Woman so much when it came out that I actually missed a day of school because of it. I had already hit the snooze button on my clock radio several times too many and then that song came on and I had no choice but to hit it again. I then missed missed the train as a result. And that was the day in school that they taught you all the really useful stuff.

    Not a bad song in hindsight, though.

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  2. Anonymous29.7.08

    cheers chica - now that song is in my head, but at the bit where they all start sing "Charlie how do your angels get down like that" and I get really annoyed that they are all independent women owned by a man...
    Aren't we all - I love my guitar - it makes me feel free and sassy but didn't buy that...

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  3. I didn't like it when it came out because I was too cool and only listened to Tricky. Now I am not cool at all and only listen to whatever I like.

    But I should have used the independent kittens' version:

    http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

    "Question!"

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  4. Triumphant return to form.

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  5. It's a myth that Macs are overpriced, used to be like that, but not really any more. My MacPro was definitely the cheapest computer with the quadruple core processor and loads of cool stuff installed as well (not the Microsoft horror) :D Plus incredible expansion possibilities...

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  6. Funniest thing read in the last decade: "Walkman"

    I'm not making fun of you, dear Annie. You know I lurve you madly and would do anything for you, so... ya know... pinch of salt and all that... but you might as well have said "boom box" or "ghetto blaster".

    Do they still make Walkmans (Walkmen?). Maybe it's a continental gap thing, but over here a Walkman is a portable CD player.

    Again, I'm just teasing you a bit in a friendly manner, since we're such good mates and all (in my pretend world where I know you, we're the very best of friends!)

    Thanks for the smile, intentional or otherwise.

    P.S. Do pop 'round to my virtual place once in a while. Especially since I plan to 'interview' you for my new weekly feature. (with your kind permission, of course)

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  7. Eh?! Are you sure it's not cool to say "Walkman" anymore? I think you'll find it's making a come-back.

    I mean, my phone actually SAYS "Walkman" on it:

    http://www.letsgodigital.org/images/artikelen/13/w910i.jpg

    And it must be a very cool phone because every time it rings it's like Beyonce herself is throwing her hands up at me.

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  8. In fairness, Destiny's Child said nothing of purchasing their own Macs. You're off the hook.

    (Dude. Double meaning in that last sentence! Go me!)

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  9. I can personally assure you that the Walkman brand is alive and well, and strongly represented through a wide range of high quality personal audio devices available from your local consumer electronics retailer. (At least I fucking well hope so, otherwise I'm out of a job...)

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  10. I never thought I'd turn my back on Apple products but I have to say I am really getting over this white shit. I like my golden brown phone, texture like sun — I like being "snippy" on it, and snapping the slider about abruptly.

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  11. I'm SURE that if YOU'RE saying "Walkman" it must be tre' cool!

    We poor colonials have to wait for the truly cool technology to make it's way over here and by then its no longer cool. :-(

    I throw my hands up at you and your coolness!

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  12. Anonymous29.7.08

    No shit - "Survivor" just came on TV as I read this post.
    I won't ever be able to listen to Destiny's Child (or eat tapas) and not think of you.

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  13. Flat-capped kitties - stupendous!

    If I saw them in a pub-gig I'd probably fancy the xylophonist. (personal weakness for xylophonists after David Cairns rocked one in Primary 6)

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  14. Beyoncé's over-the-top, wide-ranging-but-always-at-the-annoying-end-of-that-range voice is a little too much for me. Bug-a-boo is a good song though, from memory. Wait until you're sitting and chatting to a cute guy, he considers giving you his number and suddenly your phone rings - blurting out how independent you are. Perhaps some LL cool J would go down better in that situation?

    This PC vs Mac page always makes me laugh.

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  15. Damn, I'd really dig a Destiny's Child ringtone but I'm such a technophobe old filly I wouldn't know where to start. Actually, I'd be afriad that I'd subscribe for a hundred years to some ringtone service that gives me variations on the Crazy Frog every day until 2012 at like a fiver a pop.

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  16. "Independent Woman, of course," I say, glad that there's a guy around to sort this shit out for me.


    You are my blonk of the week. That was fucking hilarious.

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  17. I like it, a Stranglers-style phone with a Destiny's Child ringtone.

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  19. "One thing PC users can do that MAc users can't: SHUT THE FUCK UP."

    Lollerskates.

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  20. Ach! Grizzly Man is not a good example here.

    FOr a start they were Grizzlies, black bears are a lot more peaceable.

    And the film itself made the point that the bears that nut had been hanging out with had probably moved on, and it was a different one that killed him.

    I"m not saying anyone should have hugged the bear, and there's a lot of sense in the whole 'no tranquilisers available' point above.

    But I'm not so comfortable with the whole idea of moving into animals' territory and then doing away with them when their presence causes problems. Better strategies needed.

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