The Irish Blonk Awards

I got so drunk at the Irish Blog Awards last night that I'm probably not the best source for the evening's gossip. I was just so thirsty, really, and made the mistake of drinking gin & bitter lemon — which tastes like lemonade, but isn't.

Well, Twenty Major (or "Tony Major" as the non-bloggy friend I'd dragged along kept calling him by mistake) won the Best Blog award again. "I can't believe it!" I exclaimed to Bjarni, indignantly. "That's three times in a row he's won it now!"

"Maybe it's because his is the best blog," shrugged Bjarni. "Here he is now, anyway, you can ask him about it yourself."

"Oh, hi Twenty," I gushed. "Congrats on winning Best Blog! You totally deserved it."

I didn't win anything, of course, which I had been mentally preparing myself for by spending the past year writing a hilarious but completely narcissistic acceptance speech.

"Who are you going to thank?" whispered non-bloggy friend as the nominations for Best Design were being read out.

"Um, myself?" I replied, just before losing to Sabrina. "I mean, I designed it."

But the best thing about the evening, of course, was meeting all these people off the internet and comparing their online personas to their real personas. I always expect people to look like their blogs — the way dog owners look like their dogs — so I was disappointed to see that Devin looked like a real-life woman and wasn't made up of green blocks with rounded corners after all. Flirty is lovely and she really does look like Nicole Kidman, only hotter, even in a brightly lit room. LC isn't as short in the flesh as you'd expect — not that he was there, but I was able to get all the dirt on him from Rosie.

I kept hugging people by mistake, as usual, forgetting that Irish people don't really like hugs — especially not from strangers off the internet. I was particularly huggy with Bock the Robber — who is actually very cute in real life, if you can you believe that. But after my fifteenth lemonade I was so drunk that I was falling asleep while I was talking to people about myself and so I had to be whisked home in a cab. The end.