Next week Bjarni and I will be making our way back to Iceland for Christmas, stopping off in Wales to see my folks, and in England to visit my grandparents. I'm a bit nervous about this, because earlier this year my grandfather had a stroke and now he has trouble speaking.
Before anything happened to him, for my birthday in March, he gave me three books on screenwriting so I could prepare myself for my film course. Inside the cover of each book he'd written an encouraging phrase like 'Vistas anew!', or a quote from Aristotle's poetics, or just: 'all the best with your new path, with love from Granny and Grandad'.
A few weeks later he collapsed in a heap in Croydon and was rushed to hospital. When I went to visit him, I sat on the edge of the bed and helped fill out a form for the nurse.
"What do you prefer that they call you, Grandad?" I asked him, gently, because he looked confused.
"Paki," he said, looking up at me in surprise, as if I should have known. "Paki, paki, paki."
He didn't know what he was saying and neither did I, that's just what came out of his mouth, and under the fluorescent lights of the hospital ward and the glare of the nurse I held his hand and tried not to giggle. But later that week, on a train back to Wales, I cried all the way home.
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Oh gosh, you poor love. It's very sad to hear about your grandad and yet at the same time I do consider you lucky to have had him in your life for so long.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a nice time on your Christmas trips.
It's painful to see them in that condition, but if it's any consolation, my grandad had a series of strokes over several years, and after each one he improved considerably over time and regained a decent quality of life.
ReplyDeleteI hope the trip goes Ok, I lost my beloved grandpa last year and it was so hard to watch him get more and more confused, at least i had him for a long time though.
ReplyDeletei know how you feel, Annie, my Granda's been through the wars over the last year. there's still a lot of craic to be had with him though, albeit of a different sort because he's not as sharp as he was. going to see your grandad over the christmas will do him (and you, and your nana) the world of good. give them a laugh, and enjoy it.
ReplyDelete**Hugs** Enjoy your visit with your grandad, I'm sure he'll be very happy to see you.
ReplyDeleteSo sad that your grandad had a stroke! But he may well get his power of speech back. I hope so. And even though you may not understand what he says, he will understand you. So be your usual cheerful self - best medicine in the world! See you soon! :)
ReplyDeleteHugs, Marcia
Know exactly what you mean. After my mum had a stroke I didn't know whether to laugh or cry the stuff that came out of her mouth. It's a long process but she can speak as well as she needs to now. She was also told she'd never walk again which turned out to be complete nonsense. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteMy gran had a stroke ten years ago. When I heard the news over the phone I cried and cried like a child because I thought she was gone. But she is still hanging there, she can speak and move around and I like that her eyes sprinkle when I pay the annual visit.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your time with him.
Hugs
Annie, I reckon he can hear and understand. Just a guess. I've been there with folks twice and it took me time to realise it in both cases. So talk "to", not "at" or "about" him. If you don't get a reaction, don't worry - it may be just that the body can't conjure up the smile it's feeling inside.
ReplyDeletePal Sneeze has it 100% right.
ReplyDeleteAnd give it time, it's amazing what you can tune in to when someone has been affected by stroke like that. What seems nonsensical at first is anything but and communication gradually opens up again.
My granny had a stroke, and she was never quite the same afterwards. But some little things hung around: she still loved ice cream, and somehow that always made me smile.
ReplyDeleteShow grandad your film. He'll be so proud, even if he can't necessarily tell you.
Oh my God! Annie, you've been holding onto this granddad story while I flail about and ramble on about my crazy mother? You should've jumped in with this, we could have had a regular old time of it! Now I just feel selfish and miserable...see what you've done?
ReplyDeleteWhat a moving post, Annie. Unsentimental and lovely. Best wishes for your granddad - and for you, over the holidays.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThank you, everybody.
ReplyDeleteJust keep laughing with him, Annie. It will do you both a world of good, even if he can't fully show it.
ReplyDelete