I just read over at Bock's place that a man in Scotland has been sentenced to three years probation after getting caught having sex with his bicycle — in private.
Three years for sex with your bike? Christ, what happens if you get caught with your washing machine? Or a root vegetable? Or a rabbit?
*worried*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
archive
- August 2011 (1)
- July 2011 (2)
- June 2011 (15)
- May 2011 (9)
- April 2011 (19)
- March 2011 (19)
- February 2011 (17)
- January 2011 (2)
- December 2010 (2)
- November 2010 (1)
- October 2010 (3)
- September 2010 (2)
- July 2010 (3)
- June 2010 (3)
- April 2010 (1)
- February 2010 (2)
- January 2010 (2)
- September 2009 (1)
- August 2009 (4)
- July 2009 (4)
- June 2009 (3)
- May 2009 (8)
- April 2009 (11)
- March 2009 (12)
- February 2009 (9)
- January 2009 (4)
- December 2008 (10)
- November 2008 (27)
- October 2008 (21)
- September 2008 (12)
- August 2008 (9)
- July 2008 (11)
- June 2008 (5)
- May 2008 (5)
- April 2008 (12)
- March 2008 (10)
- February 2008 (11)
- January 2008 (15)
- December 2007 (10)
- November 2007 (9)
- October 2007 (3)
- September 2007 (9)
- August 2007 (8)
- July 2007 (10)
- June 2007 (13)
- May 2007 (14)
- April 2007 (11)
- March 2007 (11)
- February 2007 (12)
- January 2007 (9)
- December 2006 (4)
- November 2006 (10)
- October 2006 (8)
- September 2006 (12)
- August 2006 (19)
- July 2006 (22)
- June 2006 (7)
- May 2006 (25)
- April 2006 (18)
- March 2006 (5)
- April 2004 (1)
- November 1998 (1)
- March 1980 (1)
This story was a day-long topic of much hilarity in the teacher's lounge at work. The whole time I just kept wondering exactly how one goes about having sex with a bike. The problem with trying to figure something like that out is that when you do, if you happen to be me, it casts a harsh and horrifying light on the state of your "love life". If you find yourself mentally assessing various household objects for their erotic potential then you know its high time you got a date...
ReplyDeleteBut three year's probation (and probably entry into a sex-offender data base)? That's harsh.
After all, the bike apparently consented...
that ruling was absolutely inexcusable. If you've got some sort of equivalent of the ACLU over here they should be leaping to the guy's defense and filing an appeal. He was in a private place behind a locked door with total expectation of privacy. If he'd been having sex with a woman there would have been no negative consequences. This is purely about the system passing judgement on his unusual kink, but which is ultimately no different from having sex with a dildo or other mechanical device. I'm shocked and appalled by the court that did this.
ReplyDeleteGoodness! I wonder if they also removed the bicycle from the premises for its only safety, or whether it was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and wanted to be left with him.
ReplyDeleteSeriously... I agree with CB. It's no different than sex with any other inanimate object... really up to people what they do in private if it isn't hurting them or anyone else.
It's because bikes have so much character, they seem almost human. The judge was probably a cyclist himself.
ReplyDeleteYou see, sex with a motorbike ... now that would be different.
ReplyDeleteOr a lawnmower.
Absolute disgrace!! This will ruin the sex lives of village bikes all over the country.
ReplyDeleteThree years probation for interfering with a bike? Completely crazy. And yes, what exactly is the erotic potential - the mind boggles. I've heard of people being assisted by vacuum cleaners, but bikes????
ReplyDeleteI heard about this over at Oli's The Deleted Scenes and was surprised. My suspicion is that because the story is so bizarre there's something that nobody's bothered reporting in the rush for the humour bit.
ReplyDeleteHe was in private and that should have been taken into consideration but the sentence was so harsh... 3 years probation and (I think) 10 years on the sex offenders register. I noticed on the Beeb's site that it happened in a 'hostel' of some kind... it could be that it was one of those hostels where you have to be out during the day, for instance; maybe it's one with scheduled room checks for alcohol or drugs. He was only caught by the cleaners because he didn't reply when they knocked. But you know how it is when you're in the throws of passion with a bicycle!!! This is such a weird one though...
However, you may be pleased to know that it is now legal to have group sex in public if you live in Bristol!!!
I suspect the judge is hard of hearing (or Chinese) and when the defendant was accused of being a pedalist the judge thought something else was said.
ReplyDeleteI once tried to have sex with a bike, but the cyclist kept pedalling faster and faster, and in the end I just couldn't keep up.
ReplyDeleteNext time I'll try to catch one at the traffic lights.
It does seem a bit silly doesn't. There must be a twist to this tale- possibly he stole the bike and forced it to do unnatural acts with him
ReplyDelete