We're thinking of having a house-warming party soon, seems we've been in this attic for over six months now. Bjarni is enthusiastic — we have full bottles of tequila and Icelandic vodka, after all, and a cocktail shaker to mix them together in — but I'm not so keen.
Bjarni, y'see, can invite all his work friends, and those gothy chicks from that nightclub he goes to, but I can count on one hand the number of people that I could invite to a party. I like to blame this on working from home. Most days I barely even manage to get into my knickers, nevermind get out and about befriending people. Arrfgh, party stress. What if nobody shows up?
"Exactly!" calls my imaginary friend, Anthony, from the rocking chair in the living room. "What if nobody shows up? And then, as soon as people do start to show up, you worry that too many people will show up! Same thing happens to everybody."
Um, it does? I don't think I'm going to have that problem, somehow. I really don't care about damage to property, causing the neighbours any unwarranted stress, or the comatose girl throwing up in my bed. I only care that nobody will show up!
Pfft. What is the point of imaginary friends when they just don't understand you at all?
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i'd show up, but i'm not good at parties. i phone ahead to find out what color the walls are so i can dress to camoflage with maximum efficiency. i take wallflower to new levels, baby.
ReplyDeleteWell don't bother with knickers then. :-P
ReplyDeleteI did not know that Anthony Beetle was still around!
ReplyDeleteI thought he stayed behind in Seaford all those years ago.
If nobody shows up, that' is actually ideal. You can tell everyone that you had the most marvelous party and too bad that they couldn't make it. What you really have to dread is if everyone shows up and it sucks.
ReplyDelete... well, you could tell all your virtual friends what time it would be (GMT), put your computer out in the party, and then we could post to your comments- you'd have dozens of people attend, but they wouldn't cause any crowding!
ReplyDeleteHow many will it take to fill an attic anyway?
ReplyDeleteIt's quite a big attic in fairness, so I reckon I'd need to invite 20 people to look in any way popular. I can think of 6 people in Dublin that I can invite. Might go out and ask the northside bums on the street below me soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm on Newstalk radio this morning, in case anyone wants to listen, on the Orla Barry show. It's about writing memoirs and diaries etc, and Bill Cullen will be on talking about his book — but I'll be bringing all the blonky goodness. You can listen here...
http://www.newstalk106.ie/orla-barry.htm
look at you radio girl, you're a real 'culture catalyst'. Hate that party panic of if anyone will come but loads of people will show up unannounced, just start off in pub and invite random people. maybe you could invite people on the radio today.
ReplyDeleteYes, maybe I can invite Orla Barry!
ReplyDeleteOops, I think it starts earlier than 11 actually, 11 is probably just my slot. It's live, you see. Eep.
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ReplyDeletehey annie, was lovely meeting you at the shoot few weeks back. awesome blog!!! will bookmark it. by the way totally missed the piece on fri!
ReplyDeleteSexy radio voice you got there girl! Had a giggle about the "pinch of salt" :)
ReplyDeleteGood on you Annie, next time I will see you I will ask for an autograph and maybe even a pair of knickers (you won't miss if you can't be bothered wearing them!). Noone get too excited, it's just cuz it won't be long before I can make loads of money from ebaying Annie stuff on Ebay!
Oups, Anon, no not a stalker or anything. Just me.
ReplyDeleteHi Arsheen, it was great to meet you too! I knew about the Daily Mail piece but only because the radio people called up after seeing it. I just presumed I hadn't seen the email from them yet. I did buy 3 copies but my mum wanted them so I can't give you one. They should really send one to us seems they forgot to let us know. You look really lovely in the photo though! So do Feebee and Deborah.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gaye... that question did remind me of you actually, it was as if they'd been talking to you!
I didn't manage to invite people to my imaginary party as they'd taken the mic off me and put me in the elevator as soon as it was over, unfortunately.
Humn. Well if Bjarni gets 10 people to come. You get 6. Then there's you two... that makes 18, almost the perfect number for your flat, no?
ReplyDeletefailing that, go chat up people in a bar. that's where I found a large number of my friends. Alcoholics.
Oh, you so must have a belated house-warming party. I am sure all of your 6 people will show up (maybe even on time!). For a small fee (better yet, an invitation for Niall and myself) we could even arrange for more than 3/4ths of Bjarni's bunch to have last minute change of plans.
ReplyDeleteI have totally already counted you in that 6 people.
ReplyDeletelol no worries annie, i'm tryng to get a hold of some myself, but think it should be fine! but nope there was no email. i only found out abt it cos someone i work with mentioned it. thanks for the lovely words, but i'm sure i look horrible! i'll be cutting the pic out hehe ;)anyway will read it and get back to you, i did the interview half-asleep, so don't think i made any sense, but well done you on newstalk!
ReplyDeleteSimple...don't listen to Anthony and hope for the best lol. Things always turn out ok when you don't expect them to.
ReplyDeleteHwyl!
Sometimes you have to bitch-slap your imaginary friends. I do that to all my imaginary friends and they totally live in fear of me. And there's nothing they can do about it, either. Because who are the police going to believe, me or them? Ha!
ReplyDeleteChris you must be very popular. All I had was one imaginary friend. Maybe it is true what they say the worse you treat people the more popular you become (at least it seemed to be the way at high schools!)
ReplyDeleteWell you better be inviting me, then I'll bring all 3 of my friends and it'll be PACKED!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was thinking that you have a lot of friends that I could steal away from you. And of course I'm counting you in!
ReplyDeleteWot about a webcam party? Then you can have people dropping in from all over the world...
ReplyDeleteIs Anthony Beetle related to Alexander Beetle? And if you've not seen 'Drop Dead Fred' then you must go and rent it right away.
ReplyDeleteYes Conan, in those innocent days of yore we used to read 'Winnie-the-Pooh', Alexander was a great favourite of ours.
ReplyDeletepfft indeed...
ReplyDeleteI can astrally project there, if that's any help.
ReplyDeleteI thought so, Mary. The same work's known nearly off by heart in the Drumm clan. And years back in college we used read it aloud under the trees. Innocent days.
ReplyDeleteCrapski. Did I miss the party? But I'm a northside bum and all, even if I don't live exactly under your gaff. At least, I don't think so. I can bring my sister too, that'll bring you nicely up to twenty.
ReplyDeletejust invite a load of blokes and tell them about your knickers...
ReplyDelete