Annie Rhiannon

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Most Beautiful Girl on the Radio

The Most Beautiful Girl in the School is on her way over to Dublin to stay with me for her holidays, completely unaware that I defamed her on Irish radio last week.

I was on the Life! With Orla Barry show on Newstalk, which I was very excited about because it was about writing diaries and not the usual, 'So, what is this crazy thing you call the internet, then?'. At last, somebody is taking me seriously! A show about writing things down. Also, I was appearing alongside popular Irish author Bill Cullen, which must have been a real privilege for him.

So, after we'd banged on about ourselves for a bit they started to get texts through from listeners, which I also found quite exciting, because that meant that people were, like, listening and stuff. Louise in County Cavan wanted to know how much of my blonk is the truth. How much exactly?

"Everything on my blonk is 100% truth," I churned out, glad that I'd been practising with my hairbrush in front of the mirror. "Sometimes it just needs a little pinch of salt."

"Yes," said the tough presenter. "But what do you mean by that? Give us an example."

Oh, um, right. An example. I raced through my memory, but being on the radio made me nervous and my head was a blur. I couldn't think of anything! Oh dear, I thought, I've started to believe my own blonk. But the whole of Ireland was waiting with baited breath, so, in desperation, I just plucked something randomly out of the air.

"Well, there's my friend, the Most Beautiful Girl in the School," I said, relieved to be saying anything at all. "In real life she's not all that."

I guess she'll find out when she arrives at the airport, when she's mobbed by angry, disillusioned fans.

22 comments:

  1. lol - explain to her that in Ireland "not all that" is a HUGE compliment. Amazed you managed to get a word in with Bill there, God he drones on and on and on and on.......

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  2. She won't get mobbed. They won't recognise her.

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  3. Marcia22.8.07

    Kudos for being on radio, Annie!!

    ..a pinch of salt... I love it!

    I have a suggestion. After attending a couple of weddings recently (like in the past couple of years), I noticed that people made speeches that were based on anecdotes collected over a period of years. My suggestion is that, the next time you are a guest speaker, you could whip out a mini notebook in which you will have written some of your funniest (I mean 'most truthful') entries. I can picture it now... ;)

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  4. Oh, I really want to give a speech at a wedding. I took Bjarni over to Wales for s friend's wedding at the weekend and I was itching to get up and say something about the bride, but unfortunately I had nothing prepared and I didn't want to get up there and then not know what to do with myself and end up doing a strange dance or something.

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  5. Did they ask you 'So what is a blonk?'

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  6. *gasp* so is she still speaking to you after you said she is 'not all that'?

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  7. Ouch, that was catty, Annie. Your friend's going to pummel you for that.
    Off topic, have you got a copy of Talib Kweli's new cd yet?

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  8. Humph! Just wait 'til video comes out then you're killed, radio star.

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  9. I heard you, Annie. I thought the presenter was a little rough.

    She didn't ask Bill or the other crazy lady any 'give me an example' questions. You coped beautifully.

    But you do sound about twelve.

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  10. I don't know what planet I live on but I'd never even heard of Bill Cullen! After hearing him I certainly wouldn't be tempted to buy any of his books (God he's probably going to read this read this now).

    Yours on the other hand ... I am waiting with bated breath!!! You were great and you didn't say that at all about TMBGITS! Pinch of salt my eye.

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  11. Imagine the look of disappointment I get when people discover that the child bride is not, in fact, a child.

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  12. Cope has a good point, one which I'm not going to continue to talk about - because it's THAT good.

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  13. Horse, Bill Cullen is not a famous author, he is a famous entrepreneur, and a very interesting one, his book was an autobiography, worth reading. Victoria Beckham wrote her autobiography, not worth reading, I hope she reads this!

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  14. and of course I haven't read Posh's book, in case you're wondering.

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  15. Oops, I didn't read his book/research him before the show. Although I'm sure he read my blog. And Victoria checks in every day before her pedicure, I have her IP address logged.

    I was disappointed when I found out that the Child Bride was in her 30s, yes.

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  16. Ah to have someone so 'not all that' as TMBGITS smile my way just once...

    A man can dream.

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  17. Anonymous23.8.07

    Annie, having met you again after many years at Emma's wedding, I can't imagine you not knowing what to say!! If you are ever in the same situation again, go for it...

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  18. She's not all that?

    (Runs off, sobbing, in disappointment.)

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  19. My blog stands for truth also and yes I am soooooo old.

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  20. Yesterday, I found TMBGITS's doppelganger. She works at the front-desk of The Cheesecake factory, a restaurant in Schaumburg, IL.

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  21. Wtf?? Where'd my comment go? I recall accusing you of blasphemy... damn blogger getting in the way of my insults! ;)

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  22. Hmm, who is this anonymous from Emma's wedding? I am intrigued!

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