Annie Rhiannon

Monday, June 11, 2007

Life abroad is just one adventure after another

Having spectacularly failed to make any friends whatsoever on a Friday night out in Dublin, I spent the following day with Bjarni in Phoenix Park — where I discover he doesn't know what stinging nettles are.

"Stinging nettles?" he asks, as I try to avoid them in my bare feet. "What are they?"

I look at him in disbelief. I want to sting him with one! It's not that I want to hurt him — I love him — but I feel he's missed out on something, somehow. And Bjarni loves science experiments. I just want to see him wince, and then quickly find him a dock leaf to rub tenderly over the small white bumps.

Of course, I don't want to sting my own hand in the process. But luckily we have a badminton set with us, and so I spend the rest of the afternoon aiming the shuttlecock into the bushes.

24 comments:

  1. Sid Trotter11.6.07

    Dear Annie,

    Science is it seems, very much like you - a cruel mistress.

    Doc leaves should only be administered by a loving woman wearing a plaid skirt, beret and a brillo pad on her ear - otherwise the antiseptic/anti hystemine qualities of thedoc leaves have no power and cannot pass to another vortex. It has something to do with vernicity

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  2. So did he get to find out the joy of being stung by a stinging nettle (and of course your tender ministrations with a dock leaf)?

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  3. I know what nettles are all right, but what's a dock leaf? how do i recognize one?

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  4. Sid Trotter11.6.07

    Just grab any old nettle and shout 'oi doc' cause you will need one. The more nettles you grab the sooner your tolerance to them will happen

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  5. Dock always grows near nettles, they have very broad deep green leaves and it's an old wives' tale that they soothe stings. Or is it? I'm not sure.

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  6. Dock leaves always seemed to work for us....maybe that's enough.

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  7. Dock leaves always worked for me too, (Devin, maybe the Limerick ones were Extra Strong. Actually I thought the were Doc' leaves - cause they healed the nettle stings.

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  8. It's rite of passage and for his own good.

    Used to pick a couple of dock leaves at the start of the day if we went to play 'down the lane'. Then if we were stung we'd whip them out of our pockets quicketysplick. Or maybe I read that in an Enid Blyton story.

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  9. I thought it was "doc" leaves, too, but I had to look it up before I posted in case I was caught in blogger-makes-spelling-error shocker.

    Paris Hilton would be all like "you're stealing my thunder!"

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  10. You cannot have love without itchy-stingy pain. You had to give him stinging nettles or the clap.

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  11. Love burns, indeed!
    I'd never heard of dock leaves until this post...to think of all the cursing and pain that could have been avoided.

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  12. Yes! The dock leaves work, you really have to squeeze the juice out of them though.

    If you go out for a walk with a toddler you'll find it easy to try out the experiment. Their little pink hands seem to be at just the right height for the nettles.

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  13. Stinging nettles are evil.

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  14. Sometimes I just wonder how I brought up such a smutty girl

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  15. Truculent Horse is dead right.They worked best if you could squeeze the sap out of them...er...what are we talking about again..shuttlecocks?
    (John Mc-I'll tell you some of the leaves (dried but not tea) I partook of in Limerick were Extra Strong right enough)

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  16. I've recently fought, fought I tell you, the biggest stinging nettles ever. Nettles that grew through brambles with majorly big thorns. Yeah, I know, I'm brave.

    You can't tell me that dock grows near that evil stuff of satan. Not unless you give me a much better description of dock anyway...

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  17. It's one for your screenplay Annie, where dock leaves are applied tenderly (but with no time for dallying) to the stung thigh of a badminton partner

    It may even equal the scene in the 39 Steps where the woman handcuffed to the fugitive removes her stockings.

    Although to be truely equal to your evil love the woman in the 39 Steps would have to have the key to the cuffs in her pocket.

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  18. Well, life abroad is something special and fun. But somehow i believe there's no involvement of and bad exposure or anything else.

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  19. The word "shuttlecock" has always made me giggle.

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  20. Dock leaves do work, just crush one in your hand before you rub it on the sting. The worst sting is from the stalk of the nettle, the leaf is for wimps. Young nettle leaves can make a good soup. Lots of Bjarni experments to try out.

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  21. Dock leaves are also good for wiping your butt. A gentle crush and there you go - Kitten Soft. Kittens are better, mind you, but they can be difficult to find in the woods.

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  23. If you grasp a nettle hard, it will not sting you.

    This is because the little stinging spines are quite fragile and break off easily. It's only when you brush gently against a nettle that it stings.

    This is a characteristic the nettle has in common with most bullies.

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  24. Again, I forgot to comment.

    Ever had nettle soup? Because I like to think I'm an optimist, but I'm not that fucking gullible.

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