I picked out a plain black tracksuit, because it makes me feel less like a chav and more like a ninja, and I'm taking two different classes at the gym to go with it — Body Combat and Yoga.
Body Combat is a big mixture of Taekwondo, Jujutsu, Cappoiera-however-it's-spelt, Muay Thai, T'ai Chi, and whatever other martial art they butchered in our quest for flatter tummies and tighter bottoms. I suspect that if a wise and elderly master of these ancient art-forms ever came down from his remote Chinese forest to sign up for a class at my gym he would be most displeased.
Yoga involves lounging around on the floor and is much more difficult than it sounds. I don't know if ninjas do much yoga but it seems to work for me.
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God bless your energy, girl. Yer fella will love your increased flexibility, and if he doesn't, you can kick his ass :)
ReplyDeleteWell, at least if anyone makes fun of your tracksuit, you can beat them up.
ReplyDeleteAh, thank you! I've been wondering what capoeira is - our younger daughter has been offered lessons at school. Mr K. will be pleased (he guessed it was a martial art)
ReplyDeleteI think capoeira is the coolest of all the martial arts, it just looks so awesome.
ReplyDeleteSome of the moves don't even have to be used in attack — the idea was that if you could perform the move properly then your enemy knows that you can easily kill him and just runs off. Providing he hasn't got a gun, I suppose.
It was outlawed in Brazil in the late 19th century because it was seen as anti-government, and anybody caught practising it had ther tendons at the back of their feet cut off. Ouch.
Linzi went to yoga once but she just got freaked out seeing everyone around her falling asleep, and she never went back.
ReplyDeleteWhat? Falling asleep can get you into shape? Why has nobody told me this before?
ReplyDeleteA black wet suit is a little closer to the ninja look. Also, if you have one (the wet suit) you don't have to excercise... just turn up the heating and sweat the weight off...
ReplyDeleteGo, ninja Annie, go!
ReplyDeleteI am intrigued by a cross between capoeira and tai chi - so you can beat someone up with your lethal kicks, but ve-ry ve-ry sloooooowly...?
Body Combat and Yoga.
ReplyDeleteBeat people up in your sleep then?
ps. I really hate word verification. Even if the words look like cute names for pets in Welsh. Eejquit is my fav.
i thought capoeira was a type of italian salami ...
ReplyDelete....mmmmmm salami....
Oh admit it: you're into body combat and yoga just as an excuse for wearing your black tracksuit
ReplyDelete:D
If a wise and elderly master of these ancient art-forms ever came down from his remote Chinese forest and saw Annie getting sweaty and physical in a black track suit he wouldn't believe his luck.
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I suggest you drop the body combat. As a retired (not willingly) martial arts practitioner, I have to say the way they rush techniques to give cardio workout can do sneaky damage to your knees and other joints (hips, ankles). I suppose it depends on who is teaching it, if it's a person with Martial Arts background they will probably modify techniques a little but if a fitness trainer is teaching Body Combat, be afraid! Well, that's my 2 Turkish liras worth opinion :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, capoeira looks cool I totally agree. :) But imho it's a martial dance, like tai-chi is a martial health. Neither is a martial art anymore the way they are practiced. Martial art = the art of war :) Suppose i should include martial arts in my blogzes.
ReplyDeleteKHAAAAAAAAAAAIAA!
Wow, you're gonna be able to knock seven shades of shite out of someone and be able to star in "Electric Boogaloo: 3." And you'll be really popular, because you'll be able to kick high. Well, it worked for Buffy.
ReplyDeleteAnd your ancient Chinese guy wouldn't be half as shocked at your class as he would be at what they're teaching in America right now, which is Christian Martial Arts. I shit you not, instead of bowing and having honour, they all pray to Jesus before, during, and after.
I do that a lot myself when I exercize, but mine is usually along the lines of "Dear God, I've only done two miles on the exercize bike?! Jesus, the gravy's pouring off me, I thought I'd done ten, at least." and "Christ, why have I not lost any weight?"
I went to a few yoga classes with the missus last year. Before I went I hadn't been able to bend over and touch my toes in many a year. The instructor reminded me of the camp bloke from Gimme Gimme Gimme and I was the only bloke there. It cost £8 which was bad (thats alot) but also good (kept the poor people out. In St Albans poor people appear to be very ugly).
ReplyDeleteI stopped going as the wife was eventually going to spot me ogling the two lithe university girls.
I love yoga, although I'd love it a lot less if I ever did it.
ReplyDeleteI love the yoga clothes at Sweaty Betty - they've pretty much managed to wean me off jeans. Unfortunately, the closest I get to exercising in them is when I wear them to go to the local fitness centre, take them off, put a cossie on, studiedly ignore the machines and relax in the sauna and the hot tub.
ReplyDeleteSlice like a ninja!
Ooh body combat sounds sexy! I'll take a man who teaches that any day.
ReplyDeleteis it a black velour track suit? was talked into buying one from H & M by one of my daughters.
ReplyDeleteHave been going to yoga for about a year now and love it. Am completely useless, but there you go.
Can I raise an issue here? Is it just me, or are attempts at headstands and shoulder stands to be made with extreme caution by women? I think you know what I'm trying to say here......
nearly had a very nasty incident last week, but managed to get out of the room in time to dash to the loo and turn the taps on full to hide the noise.... will tell teacher that it's done my neck in and it's best that in future I stay upright.
I think that yoga is the best! You can find more about yoga benefits if you wish!
ReplyDelete