I'm in Liverpool this weekend, with my mother, staying at a kind of strange Japanese-ish hotel that I found on the internet. We are sharing a room — out of budgeting rather than love — so I'm quite glad I didn't book us into one of their capsules by mistake. I can just imagine trying to talk her into climbing into one of those things. "In you go mum, go on, it'll seem a bit roomier after a while. It's got Wi-Fi!"
Despite my hasty clicky-clicking on lastminute.com she has very kindly offered to buy me some new clothes. Which is bad timing, really, seems I optimistically see myself two dress sizes smaller by the end of next month. What I could really do with, then, is something to help me work towards my goal.
"A tracksuit?!" she tuts, horrified, as if she has suddenly realised that her only daughter is a chav.
"Yes," I say, casually trying to hide my large hooped earrings underneath my hair. "For working out in, innit?"
"Well, alright then, but I hope you don't plan on wearing it around the village!"
Um, at what point did our parents start being embarrassed about us? I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.
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How about taking up running and wearing your tracksuit while doing so. Thereby keeping in shape and embarrassing your mother by wearing the tracksuit round the village too. Or was the later point not a goal!
ReplyDeleteAnnie IS in shape, bloggingjames.
ReplyDeleteWear what ya want, Annie. Anyway, you'll go unnoticed in the tracksuit when you're back in Dublin.
Now. An extremely urgent matter: Tell us more about Thóra and Stína in the "pic of the day". But don't tell me they're lesbians. Please! I don't want to have to kill myself. Not today anyway 'cos I'm going racing.
Buy a skipping rope and use it while wearing the tracksuit. Skipping is a good way to get fit and trim at the same time.
ReplyDeletePlease tell me they're lesbians, and exhibitionists as well.
ReplyDeleteThey're not lesbians, though I do have a pic of them snogging, or "sleik" as they in Iceland, which I will put up on my Flickr later.
ReplyDeleteYou should hear them rap.
On second thoughts, I better get their permission first.
ReplyDeletePrimal Sneeze,
ReplyDeleteYou will notice I said "thereby KEEPING in shape", not GETTING in shape!
You'll fit right in in L'pool in your trackie and trainies, and be the envy of all the scally (not chav here)girls.
ReplyDeleteCheck out the Tate L'pool while you're here, down the docks - great exhibits at the mo' - also an opportunity for a few swanky cocktails in the bars and restaurants.
Cheers anonymous, we went to the Tate this afternoon and saw a great show of contemporary Chinese art, including one guy's installation which involved padlocking a crowd of people into a room. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteEverybody in Liverpool is so chatty. It's like being in California.
California without sun or class?
ReplyDeleteYou know it has become vital for all to see you in your new tracksuit. Will also need the background to be "the village". Thanks!
ReplyDeleteChavs.. I actually know what that means!
ReplyDeleteAnd what's wrong with the cubicle, lol. I saw a special on TV about those once.. amazing.
You are just confirming my belief that I should wear a tracksuit when traveling abroad so that I look European rather than American.
ReplyDeleteSleiking, cool.
ReplyDeleteI liked the people too, though I only spoke to the nice ones when I was there.
Thanks for the BOTEFD honour the other day.
You'll fit right in in the dodgier parts of Dublin (where a buggy is an accessory), or in the 'better' areas (where a personal trainer is an accessory). Watch the colour though. Oh, it's too late... you've already got it?
ReplyDeleteIt's black! And Nike!
ReplyDeleteSomehow that seemed less chavtastic than white Ellesse.
"Um, at what point did our parents start being embarrassed about us? I thought it was supposed to be the other way around."
ReplyDeleteNo no no, the way to do it is to have gotten your mom a matching one, and then guilted her in to wearing it, for some mom-and-daughter bonding. Then she's embarrassed and guilty, see.
Jesus, that Word Verification.... I'm gonna have to start remembering to wear my glasses.
Trust me... as an adult child (oxymoron?), you have already spent years and years embarrassing your parents... each time they thought "What must the teacher / neighbours / world think of me, letting my kid go out in the middle of winter with no mittens / in the middle of the summer in a woolen hat / to school without a packed lunch... etc, etc, etc.
ReplyDelete