Flatmate bought a trumpet. He arrived back from Dublin with it today; it's all shiny and new with a case and instructions and a little cloth to polish it with and everything.
"Wow," I said, trying to mask my utter disappointment. "How much was that?"
"500 quid," he told me, proudly. "These things are not cheap."
500 quid? Oh dear. How am I going to justify stuffing a brand new 500 quid trumpet down the back of the sofa like I secretly did with his recorder?
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O dear Annie let him have the trumpet. when I was 10 I was taking trumpet lessons that I loved very much. But my parents didn't and they did all they could to prevent those lessons. I guess it was bad timing timing to be making that awful noise when my baby brother had just been born and didn't allow my parents to sleep.
ReplyDeleteI think youll be fine. But I think it is a good idea to make trumpet/recorder sounds as he sits on the couch just to reassure him that, "yes, they are still down there."
ReplyDeleteIt cannot be justified. Nor can it fit.
ReplyDeletePlanting flowers in it, now that's another matter.
I've always wondered if you could get a note out of a trumpet by farting into it. Could you try that for me before throwing it out with the garbage?
ReplyDeleteI've got a trumpet dicer. Unwanted gift. You can have it if you wish.
ReplyDeleteJeepers, so is the myth true then, that Iceland residents do all their shopping in Ireland?
ReplyDeleteRecorder (a hidden one) to trumpet seems a very abrupt transition... is he an orally-fixated windbag? Next he'll get himself a set of oillean pipes... only hide the trumpet if you want that to happen!
...hm, think that should be 'uillean pipes' (Irish bagpipes)
ReplyDeleteTake up the banjo. He'll know how you feel and stop.
ReplyDeleteIn fairness he is quite good at it, considering he's only had it a week. He and Old Flatmate have promised to give a little performance at my leaving party, so I'm now actually encouraging him to play. Old Flatmate plays the guitar. Kind of.
ReplyDeleteI don't know where this Ireland-Iceland shopping rumour comes from, I can't find a direct flight to Ireland anywhere.
On a music-related query, I feel obliged to object to your referral of the splendiferous and occasionally reggae-tinged music of Sinead O'Connor by the guttersnipe term of 'Sinead O'Bonkers.'
ReplyDeleteAs a close friend of the crewcut one, I can inform you that her correct title is Bishop O'Bonkers.
She says she'll take the trumpet off your hands too. It'll give her something to do with her hands while she gives up the happy cigs, she reckons.
I heard she stole Mary Coughlan's bloke. Not impressed. I hope Mary wrote a scornful and mocking blues tune about her afterwards.
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasn't a saxophone
ReplyDeleteRecorders are awesome. Is it still under your sofa? If so, can I have it?
ReplyDeleteDefinition of a gentleman: someone who can play the accordion/bagpipes/sitar (insert caterwauly instrument as appropriate) but doesn't.
ReplyDeleteWell, she thought Mary was done with him, and she didn't keep him long anyway!
ReplyDeleteAn easy mistake to make, and in fairness it made a change from all the tabloid journalists she usually runs amok with.
Make it competitive - get some bagpipes! Though the neighbours may not be impressed!
ReplyDeleteJam a pair of tightly balled-up socks into the trumpet, or a large lump of very smelly cheese. Either measure should ensure a considerable - and instant - lowering of the offending decibels. Failing that, get earplugs - they saved my life.
ReplyDeleteThis will have the same result as ariel's suggestion but you'll be able to do it openly (and feel good about it): Give flatmate a Harmon or "Wah-Wah" mute (about $25US). Drops the decibels considerably, and you can tell him (truthfully) "Miles Davis used one all the time..."
ReplyDeleteProblem solved. (Can you tell I didn't play the trumpet long enough to get really good at it?)
And send the recorder to morgan, flatmate might find it in the sofa while rummaging for coins (all flatmates do this at some point) and start playing it again. They don't make mutes for recorders.
trumpet music is just so relaxing you are so lucky.
ReplyDeleteonly kidding smash the thing and tuck some money in the pocket of an old jacket of theirs for them to find and be all biz about.
Better a trumpet than the skin flute!
ReplyDeleteAt £500, I'd be pinching it and selling it myself!
ReplyDelete