Tomorrow morning I'm flying to the East of Iceland on a tiny little plane to meet my parents, who are arriving by boat from the Faroe Islands with their bum-bags.
I've always been very enamored by the East. It just sounds so romantic, doesn't it? "The East." I fall hopelessly in love with every man I ever meet who comes from that direction. Which is unfortunate, really, as most of them are in-bred farmers and / or lunatics.
One day, when my glittering career in advertising and filmmaking has come to a natural end, I intend to settle down with a fisherman from Djúpivogur with big hands and a weathered face. We will live in a white house with a red roof, and I will spend my days painting and writing funny little poems while he goes out and gathers the fish, or whatever it is he has to do. He will also do all the cooking and cleaning, as I will be busy cutting my ear off over my latest masterpiece. We will have two beautiful blonde boys together called Frosti and Gústi. Although they will have to take care of themselves, obviously, as I'll be so busy with my funny little poems.
One day the fisherman will get a bit fed up of all this and go out in his little fishing boat and never come back. I will tell myself that he has been killed by a terrible storm, which will inspire me to write a soft, whispery folk album all about my sorrow, and then go on to pen a hit dance single for Dannii Minogue.
God knows she needs one.
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"The East" has the opposite effect on me, mainly because I often confuse it with "The West" and I have to stand there trying to orientate myself to figure out which way is which.
ReplyDeleteI prefer it when they actually say where they're from.
Thing is, there isn't anything in the East of Iceland except the East itself, so it's hard for them to be more specific.
ReplyDeleteI too get confused between East and West (though never North and South, for some reason). Instead, I tend to use the terms "left of" and "right of", much to my father's contempt.
I live in "the east" (east of Vladifuckingvostock) and it`s not all it`s cracked up to be.
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