The first night back at Forest Lodge with my folks is always the best. By the second day the novelty has worn off, by the third we're starting to get on each other's nerves, and by day four alcohol poisoning has kicked in. But the first night is brilliant. My dad cooks my favourite meal, my mother lights the log fire in the living room, and the three of us (and Pablo the dog*) get absolutely hammered on cheap red wine and Icelandic vodka in the evening sunshine.
This time we've come up with a plan. The four of us, and my brother Fergus who doesn't know it yet, are going to make a short film together. I'll write the script, Mary will produce, Bruce will be on cameras, Ferg will write and record the soundtrack, and Pablo will sit around panting and licking his own balls. I have no idea yet what it's going to be about, but it's going to be, um, awesome.
*He was already named when they got him. Fergus and I, however, were not.
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I would pay good money to go and see such a film (you are going to subtitle it, right? Cos no-one actually speaks Welsh. Apart from those two twats in the big brother house.)
ReplyDeleteAh, shuddup. If it was in English you wouldn't understand them either.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing about making films in "foreign language" with subtitles (besides the grant) is that it covers up a lot of crappy acting.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the favorite meal, btw?
ReplyDeletePerhaps the film could be *of* Pablo the dog, whether licking his balls or not. Worked for Bunuel.
ReplyDeleteSalmon steaks, with asparagus and baby new potatoes.
ReplyDeleteIt's either that or steak, medium rare.
I'm sure I could have named all 299 residents at one point! I'm pleased you got to return and do all those Dolwyddelan things - I've still not forgiven my mum for moving away.
ReplyDeleteI know, I still haven't forgiven her either! It'd be great if we were both there every Christmas and Easter, smoking pot by the river and drinking tea in Dil's Diner...
ReplyDelete